My First Day of Teaching

I came across this old note that I wrote on what was possibly my first real teaching experience in the martial arts world. Experiences such as this are my motivation.

Each class brings out my weakness which promptly streams from every pore and rolls to the mat and, even though I'm pushed differently and diligently every night, I feel the desire to continue training after class has ended, which is always too soon. I gain a thirty minute cool down while my youngest girl gets on the mat and explodes with a brilliance that most could only hope to witness, much less, become.
During my daughter's class, a young and lonely student of the class following my girl's asked if I would be watching him perform in his class just like I watch my own daughter in her own. I could tell he desperately wanted to connect with someone and there was no one to support him so I offered my attention. Fate wove through this event as our Master Instructor approached me and asked if I would be willing to teach this young man's class.
Immediately, I began questioning my own ability and my confidence was taking blow after blow from the villainous monster known as doubt but we worked through it together and I gladly accepted the offer.
I was no longer the student and was now a teacher, even if only for thirty minutes. It was at that moment of realization that the wash of responsibility drenched me and my alertness level had been heightened to the stratosphere.
The next half hour, I worked very closely with this young man. We built strength and precision. I challenged him physically and he challenged me spiritually. We pushed through techniques and forms. My mind constantly traveled to memories of substitute teachers in middle school through the comparisons and my leniency level was challenged. This intelligent young man was emotionally checking boundaries and testing personality weaknesses to encourage the physical ease of his training and I knew that, as an initiate instructor, I would be a failure if I allowed this to happen but if I was forceful and stern that I would lose my first pupil forever. I was holding the future in my hands, not just mine but this boy's devotion as well. What was I to do? I took a chance and searched for closer connection to this child by digging for his interests that might motivate him to excel of his own accord so we took a moment and talked.
Once we built a solid relationship, our class motored on with freight train intensity and we no longer needed to struggle for control which encouraged his full support and even offered up some genuine smiles through the class from more than just the two of us but also the bystanders that I suddenly realized were very interested in our progress. By the end of the class, I felt confident that he took some valuable lessons home with him and I could tell that he no longer felt that sense of isolation that filled him before class. He got what he was after, the chance to show his skill to an interested peer and to feel accomplished in a field he enjoyed but has not gotten much support in.
We all left the school and his glow was possibly the brightest today. I was proud of him and told him as much as I thanked him for teaching me today in what has been my most valuable lesson thus far.
Experiences like this are the exact reason I pursued a future in teaching and my school, Beginner's Mind Dojo, would not even exist without the valuable experiences I learned from this young man..